''Mindfulness in a relationship is a path with heart because it requires our attention to one another without judgement, control, expectation, and all the other heartless invasions of ego.'
- David Richo
PLEASE NOTE:
I AM CURRENTLY UNABLE TO ACCEPT NEW COUPLES AT THIS TIME. MY APOLOGIES FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE.
_____________________________________________________________
It is a great joy & privilege for me to help couples
rebuild
the bridge of connectedness
I focus on balancing both:
An exploration of the underlying issues / communication patterns that are interrupting healthy connectedness with
Concrete tools for improvement by lassoing the power of the present moment
I help
Married couples / Life partners (from newlyweds of all ages to couples who've spent decades together)
Engaged couples seeking premarital counseling
All manner of unmarried couples with various relationship issues ranging from mild to high crisis
Couples dealing with the transition of welcoming a new baby into their dynamic (either while still pregnant and/or postpartum)
Heterosexual and Gay Couples
When working with couples, I draw from the research / approaches of:
Psychodynamic Therapy
Attachment Theory & Research
Mindfulness Practices
Somatic Psychology
EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy)
IFS (Internal Family Systems Therapy)
Imago Therapy
Gestalt Therapy
John Gottman's Research
With an accepting, compassionate approach that also respectfully challenges, here are just a few of the things we might seek to accomplish in our work together:
Cultivating increased safety for partners to identify and assert their needs in a healthy way
Identifying patterns of conflict and the true needs being expressed beneath them
Compassionately identifying each partner's chief defense mechanisms or Internal Protectors that block intimacy
Improving the mutual regulation of emotions.
Helping clients identify when their own emotion regulation is disrupted and how this impacts the couple's dynamic (each partner asking themselves: 'What is my part in the co-creation of this?')
Increasing empathic attunement
Decreasing power struggles (closeness over rightness!)
Identifying the unconscious projections of past / childhood hurts at work to mindfully use them as tools for repair
Challenging unhealthy reenactments of past traumas
Identifying negative, ineffective communication patterns or 'Demon Dances'
Disrupting Ping Pong styles of communication wherein we're simply reacting defensively to our partner vs. truly listening and pausing to respond thoughtfully
Developing tools for improved communication and swifter conflict resolution
Increasing each partner's accountability and ownership of their feelings / actions / experiences
Increasing each partner's capacity around nurturing - of giving and receiving with increased ease
Addressing areas of fusion or codependent styles of relating
Processing and healing old traumas that may have caused distance or alienation
Increasing the overall quality of authentic intimacy
Increasing overall mindfulness vs. reactivity
Learning how to avoid the many pitfalls of the Ego that rob couples of fulfilling contact such as: blaming, judging, agendas, controlling impulses, punishing behavior, the need to be right, withholding behavior, grudges, illusions... Collaboratively reworking your Vision for your partnership together
J e n n i f e r M u r d o c c a, MA, MFT #45017
Licensed Pasadena Psychotherapist - Los Angeles